I'm at a weird stage in my life. I got to university - the thing that I have been aiming for since practically the womb and now I'm there and it's not what I expected at all.
Right now I'm totally uninspired. I do all the things a good 18 year old should do. I have two jobs and I'm paying my own way through University. I'm at a good uni on a good course but now it seems like everything that I've strived for; that I've worked so hard to achieve is just not what I want.
Asking myself what I do want becomes difficult as well - ideally, I would like to sit around all day doing exactly what I want and become rich from it. However, I am grounded and I realise that this can never be a reality. I know that this outlook is typically teenage and lazy. So, reassesment? What do I want? The answer to this is - I don't know.
Recently, I have become unsure of myself in more ways than this. I can no longer make decisions. I no longer know what I want to do with my life; where I want to end up; who I want to go there with; what I want for breakfast. Over the past week or so I have been questioning things a lot. It's having physical effects on me too. I am unable to sleep; I have ulcers and I have headaches which seem to be a permanent fixture in my life. Consequently, I have been in a very bad mood for a while now this mind frame is causing me to become paranoid, bitchy and insecure which fuels the worrying which in turn fuels the physical pain and it becomes a vicious cycle which I have really no idea how to get out of.
Answers on a postcard please.
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3 comments:
Life isn't easy; everyone knows that!
If life was easy, everyone would be driving round in a lexus all day, doing jackshit, filling there bank up with lot's of money and going on holiday everyday for the year! Like everything was handed on a plate...
But no, we have to work for what we want. If it is to be education or getting a full time job, Boring as it sounds! Lol. I've experienced University and to be honest, it really didn't match my expectations, probably that is because i really didn't know what college life was like. But when it comes to it, i might change my mind of what i think!
Maybe cut down on the jobs? Don't stress yourself out so much? Try relaxing abit more. Don't worry as much for your work, do it when you know you feel ready to do it but don't leave it til last minute. Or try planning things before you do them, but don't leave it short notice.
Not much i really can say, i suck at advice really!
Hope you enjoy aha.
Just what i think.
basically....leave
travel or find something that involves you starting a fresh and doesn't link to you past e.g. school and what you've been aiming for.
I'm sure your parents will be very dissappointed but to be honest who gives a shit its your life and there selfish to think that what they want for you is best for you, maybe it is in the sense that you might make more money and be more stable but since when has life been about that its not like you went to stafford grammar or anything.
back pack, gap yea, go live on a beach in India or Australia or live with your family in Singapore for a year or two or ten give yourself time to breathe time to live and dream again. To forge your own desires about what you want and what you need and not be told them anymore or have them forced upon you.
And yeah it is that easy you can go back to uni if you still want to who knows you might spend that year being creative and write a bestseller that changes peoples lives or you might find a place in the world where your happy and non of that stuff mattes.
You need a break, your a creative person and have you ever really been allowed to even start to find your potential or even begin to find out how creative you are.
Thats my opinion anyway i don't say it lightly either its all from the soul. Probably wont help but it will give you something to read for a bit.
xx
Jordan Btw
xx
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